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Checking out the Candidates

It probably isn’t too early to give some thought to who you are going to vote for on next November.  If you are OK with President Obama, then there is nothing more for you to do.  Clearly he is running, and you are all set.

If you are not happy with Obama, then maybe you ought to look a bit further.  I’ve tried to compile the major issues for the other candidates.

Rick Santorum

He feels that the major problem with this nation is contraception.  It is a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to his world view, i.e., one shot, one baby.  Simple.  He is also afraid that same-sex marriage could lead to “man-on-dog” sex.  This is serious stuff.  Could you imagine a pup being born that, for example, is half Rotweiler and half man?  I would bet that the pup would be ostracized by all the dogs on the block.  But let’s think about this.  This Man-dawg could be his own best friend.  What’s wrong with that?  It could be a solution for loneliness.

Rick Perry

He does talk about evolution, but, of course, as we all know, it does have some gaps.  He feels that we should only teach what he knows to be fact: a snake persuades a bad lady to eat an apple, or was that a tomato?.  A hamburger?  Would she want fries with that? Personally, I feel he is angry at evolution because he is one of those who got left behind.

Newt Gingrich

This man loves his country sooooo much that it lead him to cheat on his 5, 10, 15 wives — whatever.  There is no doubt in my mind that this paragon of a super patriot is still cheating (because he still loves his country).  He has said, “I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time [my grandchildren are] my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.”

It seems clear to me that the solution to all this radical stuff, is to persuade gays to marry islamists.   They could get married and then stone themselves to death.

Ron Paul

He is a libertarian.  He feels that the government should be totally out of peoples lives as long as sex is not involved.

Mitt Romney

He is a man of the people, preferably those who run the Fortune 500 companies.  He is pro-life.  Life, in his view, begins at incorporation.

John Huntsman

Yes, I know he withdrew. He has made the comment, “We have people on the Republican side too far to the right. We have zero substance. We have no good ideas that are being circulated or talking about that allow the country to get back on its feet economically so we begin creating jobs.”

Make sense?  Indeed it does.  That is why he is currently polling 2% among Republicans.  He, as you know, withdrew last night.  He was much too smart.  The Republican party is poorer for it, as is our nation.

Remember John Kerry, a Democrat?  He was ridiculed by the Republicans because he was educated.  He could speak French, and, therefore, was not to be trusted.  Now we have John Huntsman who knows Mandarin, and, hence, is open to ridicule by mainstream Republicans.  Mitt Romney is being ridiculed by the Republicans because he can speak French.  Americans,  well, we are being ridiculed by the rest of the world.  I seriously believe that the last Republican president was a hit among his followers, because he could barely put together a complete sentence and had an IQ barely out of the teens.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “In the end, man will either be governed by god or by tyrants”.  I think that the tyrants are winning.  What do you think?

(some of the above from Lizz Winstead on AlterNet)

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One comment on “Checking out the Candidates

  1. Everything is possible in American politics and democracy is no guarantee that the best will rise to the top. In America the good, the bad, and the ugly have an equal chance at becoming president. We had G.W. Bush, one of the most ignorant presidents ever known, rule the most powerful country in the world; the guy started two needless wars and on top of that, crashed the economy. And then we have Clinton and Obama, smart presidents who can actually speak English in complete sentences. Who will win this November? As always the American people will decide and there is no guarantee that we will not end up with another ignoramus like G.W. Bush.

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