There are certain state legislators that one can always count on for political humor. It is unclear to me if they are trying to be funny or they are just stupid. I have come to the conclusion that they are trying to be funny. Anything else would make me want to give up on the human race.
Anyway, a few months ago the Mississippi legislator, having nothing else to do (zero unemployment, no poor people, Mississippi schools are the best, everyone is ecstatic about living in Mississippi, etc.) decided to pass a Personhood USA amendment to their constitution. This would declare that a fertilized egg has exactly the same rights as an adult in Mississippi. The people of Mississippi, I guess, decided that although the fertilized egg may have the same IQ as the average Mississippi law maker, it may not be a good law. Before long fertilized eggs might want to marry dogs or cats, well, you know.
Blogger Bentley Owen in “The Friendly Atheist” reports: Oklahoma took up the challenge. First of all Senator Ralph Shortey presented a law to ban aborted fetuses from our food (well, you never know, better be safe than sorry). Next a “Personhood Act” sought to define human life as beginning at the moment of conception. In the words of the bill, “the unborn child at every stage of development has all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”
All of this was a bit much for Senator Constance Johnson, a Democrat. She proposed an “every sperm is sacred” amendment to the bill, which reads: “any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child”.
So, if you are in Oklahoma, no masturbating, no wet dreams, no pulling out. There must be a vagina present to catch your precious seed or YOU ARE IN TROUBLE.
A pro choice legislator, Democrat Jim Wilson, attempted to add an amendment to the bill that would require the father of the child to be financially responsible for the woman’s health care, housing, transportation, and nourishment while she was pregnant. Something like this would be helpful to the woman, so as expected, the Republican majority legislature rejected it.