God’s Political Failures

Every presidential candidate who was directly endorsed by God was failure.  They will likely not become president in 2012, and, probably will not ever become president.  Of the most recent crop, the only Republican who did not make the claim to have been endorsed by God, Mitt Romney, will be the Republican candidate for president.

Herman Cain told an audience in 2010 that he was found to be cancer free (he was operated on in 2005) and that God said, “Not yet, I’ve got something else for you to do.”

Karen Santorum (Rick’s wife) gave an interview to CNN in which she said, “It really boils down to God’s will. What is it that God wants? … We have prayed a lot about this decision, and we believe with all our hearts that this is what God wants.”  Apparently God wanted what Rick wanted.  I am shocked, totally shocked!

Michele Bachmann told World Net Daily in 2009 that she would NEVER run without God’s personal endorsement.  Apparently he endorsed her, too.

There’s more, but you get the idea.  Yes, God has a sense of humor (or has advanced dementia).  You certainly never get that from reading the Old Testament where god was into genocide, genital mutilation, multiple wives, misogyny, dietary suggestions, and revenge killings.

If you have ever stopped to read the bible, you probably realized that it was composed by the great-great-…-great grandparents of the producers of Saturday Night Live.  Deep down, you know that they NEVER intended for it to be taken seriously.

My personal set of beliefs tells me that the bible was intended to be an all-purpose book — possibly the world’s first almanac.  Did you know that it was full of jokes?    The bible itself refers to Samson as bringing the house down.  It spoke of the first great female financier – Pharaoh’s daughter who went to the banks of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.  It gave marital advice – like the time when Eve asked Adam, “Adam is there another woman?”  He counted his ribs and said, “No, I am sure there isn’t.”

Now, here is the interesting thing, as far as I can tell, Mitt Romney was the only GOP candidate that did not explicitly say that he was endorsed by God — and he is clearly going to be the candidate of the God’s Own Party (GOP).

Further, as you know, the 10-Commandments says that,  “Thou shall have no other gods before me”.  “Gods” in that commandment is a plural!  What does that tell me?  It tells me that the God that we currently worship is not the only God.  There must be other gods.  Now, in our recent history we had a president who claimed to be a follower of the current God — and that didn’t end up well.  Maybe we should examine what God Mr. Romney follows.

After all, we have been following the same God for 2000 or more years and he (she?  it?) has not brought world peace — in fact wars have been getting bloodier and bloodier.  What about human suffering?  God doesn’t have a very good record there.  Starvation?  Nope.  People disagree over who or what he was, or even if he ever really existed — and history shows that they were more than willing to kill over it.  The only thing that our current God seems to be able to do is to persuade some to squander their life savings on some televangelist, give money to protect pedophiles, or to run for the American presidency.

Though Christian leaders claim all the credit, real human progress did not take place in Western Civilization until Europe shook off the rule of Christianity, starting in the 16th century, and put limits on the authority of Christian leaders.

There are current leaders in the Catholic church who are former Nazis and pedophile enabler.  The heads of some of the major Protestant denominations are obsessed with fighting gays as well as womanizing — yet a large number of them seem to be gay or womanizers themselves.  They claim that God wants you to be rich — which is in direct contradiction to Jesus’ teachings.  In case you are a little rusty with that last one, God wants you to give up your riches and help the poor.

A large number of Muslims seem to feel that the way to everlasting life is to kill yourself (and every one around you).  The Jews keep claiming that God gave them, well, whatever they want — as long as they continue to mutilate their son’s penis and not eat pork products or shell fish.

I would suggest that we should look around and anyone who wants the God job should be given a 2000-year term.  If it doesn’t work out?  Bye, bye.

Amen.  May your version of god be with you – and may he stay far away from me!

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3 comments on “God’s Political Failures

  1. ‘Every presidential candidate who was directly endorsed by God was failure’

    lol, I dont remember a voice from the heavens and a dove descending to any US president.They may have claimed to have been acting for God but in each case I think its clear that greed was the primary driver.

    • I think that they are just plain delusional. I think people like Bachmann, Santorum, and a lot of other Republicans really do think that they are on a mission from God. It is frightening.

  2. I guess getting an endorsement from God may be one of the worst things that could happen to a candidate’s campaign.

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